my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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