You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
