so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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