I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
