i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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