How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
