Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
