i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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