I cockslap morals
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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