Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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