WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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