well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
