i jhust puked up my retainher.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize