Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
