How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
