You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
