Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
