He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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