my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
