My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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