so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
