Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i think my tv is drunk
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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