____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
