Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
