I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize