I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
