We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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