yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
