she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
