FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize