Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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