she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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