I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Small penises have feelings too.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
