Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
