Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
