Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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