: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
