True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
