I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
