Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
