his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just gargled with NyQuil
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
