so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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