trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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