Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
