and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
