grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
