But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
