So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
