oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
