Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
