My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
