I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
