she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
