I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
