so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
