Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
