dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
