You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize