I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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